Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
