This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
