I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
