oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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