and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
