i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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