She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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