Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
