i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
