sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
