just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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