it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
cat food counts as protein by the way
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
