Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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