He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
