She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I accidentally burped into my bong.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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