a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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