I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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