There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
