I can tuck mytits in my pants
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
