Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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