yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
