now i know why i became what i already was.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
