I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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