Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
