...so i touched it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
