Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
