Your tits are I can't wait for
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
