you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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