: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
