im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
