Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
