my soul wont recognize me after tonight
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
