Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
