My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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