So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
