Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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