youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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