No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
