just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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