Whoa Z and x make the same sound
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
