you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A bitchslap is in order.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
