WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
did i just pee glitter
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
