we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
