the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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