i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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