Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
