My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
