she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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