Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
