I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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